This page has information about some of the most common problems people have during parenting time after separation.
For information about getting or changing a parenting agreement or parenting order, please go here.
Problems with Parenting Time
When can parenting time be denied?
One parent cannot deny the other parent time with the child unless there are serious concerns of harm during visits. Denying a child’s time with a parent has a serious impact.
A parent may be justified in refusing parenting time if the other parent:
- appears impaired by alcohol or drugs when they pick up the child
- threatens to take the child out of the county immediately
- is taking the child to a place where they may be in danger.
One parent cannot deny the other time with the child because they are:
- not paying child or spousal support
- angry at them
- seeking revenge.
Parenting time and child and spousal support are separate issues. You cannot use one to bargain for the other.
Generally, it is very rare for a court to deny parenting time. In very extreme situations, the court will deny parenting time if contact would put the child at serious risk of physical or emotional harm. In these circumstances, child protection would likely be involved. If they are not, a referral to child protection may be appropriate if the risk of harm is serious.
The court recognizes that sometimes parents harm their children or create situations where serious harm may happen. However, courts will order an adult to supervise the parent’s time with the child to reduce the risks. Supervision generally stays in place until the risk is gone.
It is difficult to protect a child from this type of conflict. Children identify with both parents: when one parent intentionally hurts the other, the child often experiences that hurt.
One parent may feel that the other should be permanently denied parenting time. If there is already an order or agreement, they must apply to the court to ask that the order be changed. Or, both parents must agree in writing to change the agreement.
If you are being denied parenting time, you may apply to court to request court-ordered time with your child. You should do that quickly as the court process is slow, and this is a serious issue to address.
What can I do if my ex-spouse is not letting me see our children?
First, you should keep detailed written records of each time you are supposed to have parenting time and what happened. Include as much detail as you can. If your ex-spouse gave a reason for denying parenting time, make a note.
If the problem continues, you may apply to the court to enforce the parenting order. You can also ask the judge to add terms to make the other spouse accountable, ensuring your parenting time takes place. For example, you can ask for a term that requires picking up your child at a neutral place like a court, school, or daycare or that a neutral person supervises visits.
The court can help you enforce specific dates and times for parenting time. For example, instead of “reasonable parenting time at reasonable times on reasonable notice,” the court could order that you have parenting time every Tuesday and Thursday from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. and alternate weekends from Friday at 5:30 p.m. to Sunday at 5:30 p.m. The court can also set out summer and holiday parenting schedules.
This type of parenting order creates certainty and:
- confirms when you will have parenting time
- provides predictability for the child on when they will see you again
- adds accountability because the time is specific.
Although parenting orders contain a police enforcement clause, the police will usually not get involved in enforcing a parenting order. Most often, the police just do a wellness check, meaning they will visit the home to confirm the child is safe. You should speak to a lawyer before calling the police. Use this as a last resort.
If you are concerned about the safety of your children, you may also contact your local child protection office.
If your spouse still denies parenting time, the court can find that your spouse is in contempt of court. This means your spouse purposely disobeyed a court order without good cause. If the judge finds this is the case, they can impose a fine or imprisonment on your spouse, though this is rare. In extreme cases, a judge may consider changing which parent the child lives with to resolve parenting time problems.
For more information about contempt of court, go to nsfamilylaw.ca. You should speak with a lawyer if you are considering a contempt application.
Can parents be forced to spend time with their children?
No, but they might lose parenting time as a result. If a parent does not visit their child, it is called "not exercising parenting time". It can hurt the child, especially if they expect to see the other parent.
If this happens regularly, you should explain to the other parent how it affects the child. For example, the child may believe they did something to cause the parent to lose interest in them.
Courts will sometimes order counselling or parenting classes. You can ask for this in court if the other parent has a history of not exercising parenting time. If the parent still fails to be at parenting times, there is little you can do. Try to help your child deal with it. Counselling may clarify that it is not their fault.
Some parents who fail to exercise parenting time will later claim that parenting time was denied. Keep a record of requests for time and visits to prove you did not deny parenting time.
If you are being denied parenting time, you may wish to apply to the court to have your parenting time set out in a court order. This helps you see your child.
Go to nsfamilylaw.ca for information about parenting after separation or divorce and protecting children in difficult situations.
Problems with Relocation or Travel
What if the other parent is threatening to move my children to a different community?
Please read our detailed information about moving after separation.
What if the other parent won’t consent to travel plans?
Please read our detailed information about children and travel.
What if the other parent is threatening to take the children out of the country?
It is easier to prevent a child abduction (being taken away without permission) than it is to recover a child. Children are most vulnerable to abduction when the relationship between the parents is troubled, and one parent has ties to another country or province. If you’re in a situation like that, you should speak to the police, a family lawyer, and the Consular Affairs Bureau at Foreign Affairs Canada as soon as possible.
Foreign Affairs Canada publishes a detailed free booklet called International Child Abductions: A Manual for Parents.
Please go here for detailed information about children and travel.
Problems with Decision-making
What if we disagree about important medical decisions?
Technically, unless you have a court order or agreement that gives one of the parents medical decision-making responsibility, the expectation is that parents will make important medical decisions jointly.
However, in practice, whether a decision needs to be made jointly depends on:
- the age and maturity of the child
- the type of medical problem
- the decision that needs to be made
It's up to the relevant medical professional to get appropriate consent(s) for treatment. As a child grows up they gradually gain more autonomy and eventually assume responsibility for their own medical decisions. It's up to the medical professional treating the child to assess the child's capacity to give their own consent to treatment.
When the child is still dependent on their parents for decision-making, and the parents are in a co-parenting situation, sometimes it's possible to get a particular treatment without the other parent's consent. That’s because, in practice, there is some variation among medical professionals when it comes to getting consent from both parents. For example, a doctor in an emergency room treating a child in an emergency situation would approach the issue of consent to treatment differently than a specialist in a non-emergency situation.
If you and the other parent don't agree on key medical decisions, the only way to get clarity about medical decision-making is to apply to Family Court.
For example, if there’s a medical treatment that you think your child needs, but your child can’t obtain the treatment because the other parent will not consent to it, you can apply to Family Court for an order that addresses medical decision-making generally or that addresses decision-making for that specific medical issue.
Similarly, if you share medical decision-making responsibility with the other parent and the child is still dependent on you for decision-making support, and the child has received a medical treatment that you do not agree with, you can apply to Family Court as well.
More Information
For more information
- Tips for parenting after separation
- Resolving family law problems without court
- Families Change: a website to help kids, teens and parents deal with a family break-up
- www.nsfamilylaw.ca- general family law information on many topics, including divorce, separation, parenting arrangements, spousal support and child support
- The Department of Justice Canada has more information about family law and the Divorce Act, including fact sheets on:
To speak with someone about your situation
Employee assistance programs (EAPs) can offer private personal or couples’ counselling to help you work through difficult times, including working on your relationship. If you have one, contact your EAP to see what is available. You may also have access to your spouse’s EAP. If you do not have an EAP, speak with your healthcare provider or contact 211, 811, or Nova Scotia Mental Health services.
You can make an appointment to meet with a Nova Scotia Legal Aid Summary Advice Lawyer at the court. You do not have to qualify for Nova Scotia Legal Aid to use this service. The Summary Advice Lawyers provide brief, basic legal advice free of charge. Go to nsfamilylaw.ca/services/getting-legal-advice-finding-lawyer for contact information.
Contact the Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia to connect with a legal information counsellor and get free legal information.
Contact Nova Scotia Legal Aid for family law legal information and legal advice.
Contact a lawyer in private practice (lawyer you would pay) who does family law.
Last reviewed: April 2024