Grandparents and grandchildren

You can raise your grandchild without any formal agreement or court order. Although it’s not required, you can ask the parent to write a letter to you in which they make you the child’s guardian. This type of letter can be helpful.  

It is best to get consent from both parents, but you can go forward with the consent of only one parent. There are some situations where getting consent from both parents is impossible. For example, the other parent may be unreachable, or they may disagree with the plan for the child. 

If the other parent disagrees with the plan, either of you can apply to Family Court to get an order to resolve the dispute.  

You may also choose to apply to court if you want a formal agreement or court order to confirm your decision-making responsibility for your grandchild. If you apply to Family Court, you first need to ask for the court's permission to go ahead with your application. You must explain why it is in your grandchild's best interests to proceed.

You must notify the child’s other parent of your court application. They can respond to the application and ask for decision-making authority for your grandchild. They would be considered first in line to raise the child unless they are unsuitable as a parent.

Anyone, including a grandparent, with decision-making responsibility for a child can apply to court for child support.

If you care for your grandchild in your home, you may also qualify for government tax benefits like the Canada Child Benefit. Get information from the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) or call 1-800-387-1193.

No. The person who gives birth is the child's parent, regardless of the birth parent's age. 

If your child is under the age of 19 and still lives at home, you have a legal duty to support your child. You do not automatically have a legal duty to support your grandchild. However, if your child and grandchild live with you and your child becomes unable to parent (for example, if they die or get seriously ill or go to jail), you would have a legal duty to support your grandchild at that time. 

If you cannot care for your grandchild, contact trustworthy family members to see if they can help. If no one can care for the child, contact Child Welfare Services in your area. 

The law does not say parents must allow their child to spend time with grandparents. Most of the time, grandparents have a good relationship with their family and can spend time with their grandchildren through one or both parents. If not, they can apply to Family Court to get a court order for contact time. 

Decision-making responsibility (used to be called “custody”) describes who makes important decisions for a child. This includes a child’s health, education, culture, language, religion, spirituality and activities outside of school. 

Custody
The courts now talk about “decision-making responsibility” and “parenting time” instead of custody.

Parenting time is time a child spends with a parent or guardian because of a court order or agreement. It used to be called “access.” 

Contact is a child's time with someone other than their parent or guardian because of a court order or agreement. This can be a grandparent or anyone close to the child. 

Interaction in family law is when a parent or guardian communicates with a child outside of parenting time or contact. Interaction includes:

• phone calls, emails or letters
• sending gifts or cards
• attending school or other activities
• receiving copies of report cards or school photos
• video chats.

An agreement or court order that uses the terms custody or access stays in effect until it is changed (“varied”) with a new agreement or court order. You do not need a new agreement or court order just because legal language has changed. 

You should avoid court if possible. Mediation, negotiation or family counselling might help you avoid going to court. If they don’t work, you can apply to court.

Negotiation is a less formal way of discussing issues that carers disagree with. It can help them to reach an agreement. You can try to negotiate with your grandchild’s parents on your own or with the help of someone else, like a lawyer.

Mediation is a way of settling disputes and reaching an agreement. A mediator is a neutral, independent, objective person trained to do this work. Mediation can help if you and your grandchild’s parents can’t agree on decision-making responsibility, contact or interactions.

A mediator will meet with the people involved, talk about the issues and help them come to an agreement. Mediation is voluntary, and everyone must feel comfortable with the process.

You can find private mediation services online or in the telephone book. You can also find a mediator through Family Mediation Canada. The court might also refer you to a mediator through the family court process.

Collaborative law involves specialist lawyers helping participants work together to reach an agreement. Everyone must agree at the beginning about not going to court. You can find a trained collaborative family lawyer and get more information online at collaborativefamilylawyers.ca.

Joint family counselling allows both sides to talk about their differences. It can help each other understand why a relationship between a grandparent and a grandchild is being blocked.

No matter what approach you take, it is important to get independent legal advice from your own lawyer before you sign the agreement.

If the person who cares for your grandchild prevents your court-ordered contact or interaction, you should first try to work out an arrangement with them. Avoid involving the police or the court if possible.

If this is not possible, you can try family counselling to find out why they are preventing contact.

You can ask a lawyer about section 41 of Nova Scotia’s Parenting and Support Act which may help with enforcement. You can also apply to court to take steps to enforce the order.

It is best to speak with a lawyer before deciding what to do.

If you wish to apply for decision-making responsibility (custody) for your grandchild, you must ask for the court’s permission under the Parenting and Support Act or the Divorce Act. You must also explain why you are asking and what role you play or have played in your grandchild’s life.

Grandparents applying for contact or interaction under the Parenting and Support Act do not need to ask the court for permission.

You can start an application for decision-making responsibility, contact or interaction with a lawyer’s help or on your own. Generally, you must apply to the family law court closest to where the child lives.

It is a good idea to talk to a lawyer if you are considering going to court.

Legal Aid: If you cannot afford a lawyer, apply to Nova Scotia Legal Aid (nslegalaid.ca) or contact your nearest Legal Aid office using the telephone book.

Family lawyer: You can hire a lawyer who does family law. 

Self-representing: If you do not have a lawyer, you can ask court staff for information about the documents you must file or go online to nsfamilylaw.ca to find out where to start. You can find an online guide to making a court application at nsfamilylaw.ca/court-forms/application-guides/guide-applying-order.

Summary advice lawyers: You can receive free, brief legal advice if you do not have a lawyer. There are no income criteria. Call the family court for contact information or go to nsfamilylaw.ca.

Intake session: This family law court service will give you information about starting a court application or settling a family law matter outside of court. Intake can happen at the court or online. You must do an intake session before court staff will review your application.

Once you give the court your application and have had an intake session, you may participate in conciliation. This is a form of dispute resolution. A court officer will help decide what issues you need to sort out. They will make sure everyone gives the court the needed documents, and they will try to negotiate a settlement. The conciliator may speak with both sides together or separately.

If you cannot settle your matter, you can ask the court for a formal hearing.

A judge will consider the following when deciding what is in the child’s best interests:

• the child’s needs
• the parents’ or guardians’ ability to provide care and the proposed plan for child care 
• whether the child’s parents or guardians are willing to support contact
• the child’s cultural, linguistic, religious and spiritual heritage
• what the child wants, if they’re mature enough
• the relationship between the child and their parents, guardian, grandparents
• how well the adults in the child’s life talk with each other
• if an order for contact is needed to allow the child to see their grandparents
• whether there is family violence and its effects on the child.

You can apply to the court for a change if there has been an important change in circumstances since the order was made.

This could include changes to:

• parenting arrangements
• where the child lives, which affects your ability to visit your grandchild
• your grandchild’s schedule, if it affects contact or interactions.

Contact the Nova Scotia Department of Opportunties and Social Development office nearest you, or use these toll-free numbers:

• Weekdays, 8:30 a.m.–4:30 p.m.: 1-877-424-1177
• Weekends or holidays: 1-866-922-2434

If a child is abused or neglected, the Department of Opportunties and Social Development will try to keep them in their home and offer services to the parents and child only if the child is safe. If a child is in serious risk of harm, the department may remove them from the home and take them into care (a foster family’s home or in another place). These arrangements are known as the plan of care.

If a child is taken into care, the department must take the matter to court for a judge to review. This must happen within five days, or the child will be returned to their home.

When the department decides that a child will be placed in care, the law about child protection (Children and Family Services Act) says they must be placed with a relative if possible. Grandparents are often asked to care for children while the parents work to solve issues. It could be for a short period or may become permanent.

If there are significant concerns, the child protection case may continue for between 18 months and 2 years to allow enough time for parents to solve the parenting problems. If the parents cannot solve the problems within this time, the court must place the child into permanent care unless there is another plan. Often that plan includes a grandparent permanently caring for a child.

A child who has been placed by court order in the permanent care of the Minister of Opportunties and Social Development may be adopted if the court agrees that it is in their best interest. Generally, the department would have to approve your proposal to adopt your grandchild.

Once a child is adopted, the department is no longer involved. The parents who adopt the child will make decisions about contact with the child’s birth family.

Family Law Nova Scotia: The website at nsfamilylaw.ca offers information for grandparents.

Legal Information Society of Nova Scotia (LISNS): Contact LISNS for free legal information.

Nova Scotia Legal Aid: Your local Legal Aid office is listed under Legal Aid in the telephone book, or you can find them online at nslegalaid.ca.

A lawyer in private practice who does family law. There is information about how to find a lawyer on our website here.

NS Child Welfare Services: novascotia.ca/coms/department/contact/ChildWelfareServices.html

Child Protection: You can also find information about grandparents’ advocacy and support groups online or by contacting NS 211.